"I said NO!"

Yesterday, Martin had his little friend, Alan, from school over for a playdate.  On one of their adventures in our yard, they stumbled upon a dead, decaying squirrel. Two excited faces appeared before my friend, Karin (I had a playdate too!) and I as we chatted.

"We found a dead squirrel.  It's so cool, you can see its skeleton. Like a dinosaur or something!" The six-year-old boys were shaking with the excitement of new discovery.  "Can we bring it into the house!?"

"NO."  I said in tandem with my friend.  "We do not allow dead animals to come in the house."

The disappointed boys ran outside.  I thought the matter was over.  My doorbell rang.  The boys stood there with a box covered in old rags.  "Now can we bring it in?  We covered it with rags so you can't see it!"

"NO. The answer is still NO."  Their faces fell as they went back outside.  Obedient enough to listen to the adults, but still testing the boundaries to see what may pass for allowing the decaying body of a squirrel into my home.  They tried a few more times - but the answer remained a very resounding "NO."  While I enjoy the creativity and discovery of these boys, I don't want dead things in my home!

It reminds me of my own life.  I've called out to God about a big issue in my life for many years.  Lovingly, he's said, "NO" to me at each juncture.  But rather than disposing of the decay and death of this issue in my life, I have continued to put it in a box, cover it with rags, and bring it back to God.

"But God, what if I dress it up to look like it's alive?  Then can I keep it??"  Like the Father He is, knowing what's best for me, He said, "Naomi, I've told you that it's not healthy to keep this dead thing in your home.  You need to let it go."

"But God," I whined, "I want to keep it. I want to look at it sometimes!"

And very recently, God finally removed the box from my hands and disposed of it himself.  "Naomi, I said NO.  I mean NO.  Live amongst the LIVING.  Look at what you DO have.  Stop carrying that dead thing around."  And I finally realized that His NO was NO.  And I looked around and felt the blooming of life and realized I was free.  Truly free.

I'm not sure where the dead squirrel went...I'm sure it's somewhere in my yard and I pray I don't step on it unknowingly someday!

But I feel the love that God has for me in caring that I experience true life - he has taken this issue and disposed of it.  And has promised me freedom in the life He has for me.